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Bulletin 157 Date : 9th Mar 2009
Calm in the eye of the storm

A final reflection on bereavement.

The past few weeks have been a difficult time for my family with the loss of a dearly loved relative. Bereavement is a difficult, unpredictable and often lengthy process and the slightest thing can unbalance you and evoke an unexpected emotional outburst. But it is a time when support from the people around you is so valuable and sustaining. One email I received recently said, “I hope you find some calm in the eye of that storm.”

It reminded me of the time, several years ago, when I was actually caught up in a real hurricane. I was working over in America, Connecticut to be precise, and on the day we were due to fly back to the UK, the long-awaited hurricane started to crawl in-land right over the top of us. The American news channels always have a field day on occasions like this with detailed maps on where the hurricane is currently causing devastation, predictions of where it will eventually head in-land and when it might fizzle out.

At exactly 9am, we were in the office when news came over the radio urging everyone to vacate their business premises and drive home as quickly as possible. Why? Because Gloria was coming (I never quite fathomed why hurricanes are given female names). We got in the car and made the tortuous journey to my colleague’s home and, because Rob is a last minute person, we already found our way blocked by fallen trees and had to make a detour.

For me this episode aroused my childhood sense of adventure. For Rob it was more a case of would his roof be ripped off or the shutters blown in. Fortunately no damage was done.

Around 12 noon, all suddenly went quiet. The torrential rain stopped, the wind died down to a gentle breeze and the sun shone brightly. “Can we go out now?” I asked excitedly. “Not likely!” came the rather sharp reply. You see, what we were experiencing was the ‘eye of the hurricane’ – that moment when the centre of the hurricane passes by. It might seem strange to think that such a place of peace and quite could exist within such a fierce beast as a hurricane, but it always does. Within minutes, it all started up again, less fierce than before but still dangerous. By 7pm it had all passed. We phoned JFK to see if the planes would be running and gingerly made our way to Manhattan. New York was in pitch darkness and we were fortunate, or perhaps divinely guided, in finding our way straight through to the airport.

It’s a bit like that with life’s tragedies. At a time when you think you are over the worst and getting back to normal, suddenly it all starts up again. Only God knows what’s really in our hearts and how we will cope with the loss of a loved one. But more than that, God promises to be with us in the midst of the storm. We are never promised immunity from the tragedies of life, but are promised ‘refuge and strength’ – ‘a calm in the eye of the storm’ as my friend wrote. The book of Psalms is full of references to this truth as in Psalm 46v1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble”.

Life generally is both unpredictable and, at times, quite messy. God is very good at creating order out of chaos – if only we’ll let him.